The combination of intrapersonal and interpersonal skills, is said to constitute emotional intelligence (EQ). Someone of IQ around 85 is less likely to have the intrapersonal skills (self-knowledge) of someone of average intelligence, because people at this IQ level tend to be less reflective. Being less reflective, they are less likely to self-reference to understand how others feel and therefore lack interpersonal skills (connecting with others).
However, for those having IQ between 100 and 130, EQ seems to correlate somewhat with IQ, however, this correlation is tenuous and mainly anecdotal because EQ is much more difficult than IQ to measure. Tests such as the MSCEIT, designed to measure emotional intelligence, are difficult to norm because there is a lack of consensus on the best answer to a test item that presents a social simulation.
Those with the highest perceived EQ are usually drawn into marketing, politics and trial law where persuasion is a vital skill. Marketers must understand what people want, what motivates buying decisions, and how to present a product to make it desirable. Politicians have to please large numbers of people by framing their platforms to meet their constituents’ needs, while trial lawyers must understand how to “push a juror’s buttons.” Con artists are also high in EQ and are skillful at capitalizing on the natural human emotions of greed, desire and hope. Most people perceived to be of high EQ are usually of IQ between 100 and 130.
For those of IQ more than two standard deviations above average, i.e., above 130, it is difficult to generalize. Many people of high IQ display social awkwardness, and enjoy limited success in a business environment. The difference in their way of thinking relative to the average person makes it more difficult for them to self-reference to determine how others feel in a particular situation. This conundrum has been caricatured in the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory, in which the gifted intellect, Dr. Sheldon Cooper has difficulty relating to others. For real world examples of the EQ difficulties of highly intelligent people like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and Martha Stewart visit: https://www.intelligence-and-iq.com/chapter-8/
However, there are others of very high IQ whom we would judge as having a high emotional intelligence. Ben Franklin knew the persuasiveness of confessing fallibility to encourage others to acknowledge the limits of their own perceptions. As expressed in an aphorism he had written in Poor Richard’s Almanack, “None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault or acknowledge himself in an error.” Employing both true humility as well as its pretence, he was able to disarm those of opposing opinions. Staying relatively quiet and rational, while others were consumed with passion, was a technique he had developed that enabled him to negotiate agreement at the Continental Congress where no accord seemed possible.
Most evidence associated with EQ is anecdotal, because there are no tools we have to measure EQ in any precise way. For example, we might ask, “Were Steve Jobs’ tantrums clever psychological techniques for getting his vision accepted by others, or were they demonstrations of a lack of personal skills?” If we assume the latter, then we must conclude the EQ isn’t all that important for achieving success.
Becoming a student of human nature and understanding human emotions with the depth of a Shakespeare or Tolstoy can be of great help in smoothing your way through the rough edges of human negotiation, but if taken to excess, can compromise sincerity. In describing the benefits of diplomacy, a wag once observed,, “Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to Hell, and having them look forward to the trip.”
