Having a high IQ offers many advantages in life. Those of high IQ can learn easily and quickly, enabling them to succeed in school, choose almost any career path that they wish, and earn a comfortable living. However, there are some challenges that the high IQ people face that can turn their gift into a liability.
A person with an IQ that is substantially greater than average is usually different from the average person in their interests, their sense of humour, and their worldview. When they are young, they are often tagged with the epithet “nerd,” meaning that they are perceived by others as “weird.” Like everyone else, they want to be included in social groups and treated the same as everyone else, yet they often don’t fit in and suffer a sense of isolation. What so many young gifted people don’t understand is that the greatest intellectual achievements throughout modern history have come from gifted people.
Steve Jobs (cofounder of Apple), Jeff Bezos (founder of Amazon) and Elon Musk (cofounder of SpaceX and Tesla) were victims of bullies and felt excluded from groups. They survived by building friendships with fellow nerds the way Steve Jobs paired with Steve Wozniak. We see such people characterized in the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory. Children who are gifted need to quietly celebrate their difference from the average. As psychologist Gene Landrum asserts, “You have to be different to make a difference.”
While many gifted adults understand that their intellectual difference from the average offers substantial advantages, these advantages are not immediately evident to young people in their formative years when they crave social inclusion. As humans, we are hardwired to need social connection, and when this is denied us, we feel isolated and unworthy, unless we understand that this isolation is a natural consequence of giftedness.
Many gifted people learn how to “dumb themselves down” and develop social skills to become included in groups. Athletics, involving team sports offer an excellent opportunity for gifted people to form a bonding with others on the same team. Parents can help a gifted child by involving them early in athletics, dance lessons or whatever extracurricular activities help them learn the social skills that will serve them through their formative years. Once the gifted child clears the hurdle of adolescence intact, he or she can enter higher education and bond with people of similar interests.
In her post, Siobhan Onavon describes the challenges faced by her gifted son and its consequences. For more discussion of this issue, visit: https://www.intelligence-and-iq.com/do-gifted-children-have-difficulty-relating-to-other-kids/
