Many people of high intelligence (IQ) also have excellent social skills (EQ). This is generally recognized as relatively common in people in the 125–135 IQ range. Such people are significantly more intelligent than average, but they are close enough to the average to be able to self-reference to understand how others feel. This enables empathy and the ability to connect socially. These highly intelligent people are not generally perceived as socially awkward.
However, we do know that many people of extremely high IQ, with IQs of 145 or more, are introverts and are prone to social awkwardness. The difference in their way of thinking relative to the average person makes it more difficult for them to self-reference to determine how others feel in a particular situation. This conundrum has been caricatured in the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory, in which the gifted intellect, Dr. Sheldon Cooper has difficulty relating to others. Real world examples of people of high IQ with some EQ challenges are Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Martha Stewart profiled in: https://www.intelligence-and-iq.com/chapter-8/. Steve Jobs was not reluctant to insult those he regarded as unintelligent and Elon Musk has no filter when expressing his contempt for what he considers a stupid opinion. Why don’t these brilliant people use their intelligence to develop the social skills of “normal” people?
There are a variety of different reasons, that depend on the individual’s perspective. For high IQ people like Elon Musk and Steve Jobs, successful outcomes are far more important than social harmony. Reflecting this mindset Musk once stated, “People should pursue what they’re passionate about. That will make them happier than pretty much anything else.” Brilliant people are accustomed to having visions that extend beyond consensus and become dismissive of opinions they regard as inferior. Having become accustomed to being misunderstood and being regarded as an outlier, the visionary may have little motivation to develop social skills.
The upside of the high IQ, is that it opens doors to an unlimited span of opportunities and it provides the chance to understand life at a deeper level. However, the downside resides in its potential to create mental isolation from the general population. Imagine how you would feel among a group of people of below average intelligence who were talking about their horoscopes or cosmetics. Would you attempt to socialize with them, or would you look for another group? Many very bright people seek refuge by finding their own colony of “nerds”. That’s what draws many of our brightest people into academe. This was the context of Chuck Loree’s sitcom Big Bang Theory. You will see a real-life example of this conundrum in the recent movie, Oppenheimer. While intellectual giftedness is mainly genetic, its manifestation as outstanding achievement may be the pearl that emerges from the affliction of social isolation.
